So two days ago I came up with what I thought was the most brilliant business idea ever: dating websites for those with STDs. I figured I could save people from a lot of awkward moments and a hell of a lot of heart-pain by ensuring both parties involved were carrying the same baggage. It [...]
Posts Tagged ‘health’
Lets give a clap for these guys
Posted in Bi-fortnightly Blogs, tagged health, Love on February 20, 2010 | 8 Comments »
Undertapped blood-donor market
Posted in Daily Tidbits, tagged health on October 8, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Gave blood today. Have decided this could be the ideal outlet for emo self-destruction. Hey, cutters, want to feel the release of pain and see the red? Well, now you can do both AND save a life! Furthermore, adding overtones of martyrdom to your damage-inflicting routine brings a whole new level of melodramatic richness to your [...]
Things Learned in Sickness:
Posted in Daily Tidbits, tagged health on August 25, 2009 | 4 Comments »
1. It is possible to communicate entirely in squirrel sounds and kissing noises. 2. The real reason you can’t smell when sick: it’s God’s gift to you so that, even after not having bathed for 72+hrs, as far as you can tell, you smell fresh as a daisy. Of course, the people you live with [...]
Tum-tum and I
Posted in Daily Tidbits, tagged health on August 15, 2009 | 3 Comments »
My stomach (Tum-tum) and I have what one could call a sadomasochistic relationship. This could be in part because I’m one of those people who eats food they find. Recently, on this list of “foods found:” 1 (one) Container of rancid pesto, incubated in someone else’s hot vehicle for at least 24 hours 1 (one) [...]
Taresthesia, etc.
Posted in Daily Tidbits, tagged health on August 3, 2009 | 2 Comments »
I just discovered a really bad combination of bodily sensations: when you uncross your legs to get up to go pee, and discover they have fallen terribly, painfully asleep. So now I’m sitting here, writing this post, wondering which discomfort will win out: the pins and needles in my lower appendages or the pressure against [...]
Geriatric Bio-filaments and Water-Kitten* Bones
Posted in Daily Tidbits, tagged health on July 29, 2009 | 4 Comments »
Old people don’t loose hair. It just migrates to different parts of their bodies. I met a man the other day who had lost all hair from his head, but had frightening tufts emerging from his ears. Seriously; it looked as though he had stuffed his aural orifices with either slightly toasted squirrel tails or [...]
Nice site, nice experiment
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged health on June 4, 2009 | 1 Comment »
How Many Condoms Can You Wear at Once? http://www.myscienceproject.org/condoms.html
Travel Writing/Funeral Home
Posted in Bi-fortnightly Blogs, tagged Community, health, Religion on June 4, 2009 | 2 Comments »
So this block I’m in a Travel Writing class. We’re supposed to go places and do shit and write about it. Everyone seems keen on visiting specific towns/cities/monuments. I could care less about the town (provided it’s thoroughly Midwestern). My list of places to visit: “Ma and Pa” funeral parlor “Ma and Pa” sex toy [...]
The results of wearing a neck brace:
Posted in Bi-fortnightly Blogs, tagged health on June 1, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
1. Dirty old men feel uncomfortable making their usual cat-calls, so they just look silently instead. 2. Motorized vehicles respect you. Like, REALLY respect you. (Jaywalk all you want, those mo fos keep their distance!) 3. Teachers accept any and all absences as valid. 4. Perceived cuddle-a-bility increases by 50% or more, due to plush [...]
Castor Oil
Posted in Daily Tidbits, tagged Defecation, health on May 28, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
So it turns out that “FOR EXTERNAL USE ONLY. DO NOT INGEST” also translates as “will produce highly effective results in under 45 minutes, post-consumption.”
