(Author undisclosed.) “i dont have anything legit, but i have just about everything illegitimate – even children. lots and lots of illegitimate children. stored in boxes with little holes in the lid so they can breathe, stashed throughout my room.” (Dear God, Thank you for giving me a life filled with amazing people. Yours, Malinda)
Archive for the ‘E-mail Excerpts’ Category
E-mail Excerpt
Posted in Daily Tidbits, E-mail Excerpts on January 26, 2010 | Leave a Comment »
Another E-mail Excerpt
Posted in Daily Tidbits, E-mail Excerpts, Sporchids, tagged Community on August 20, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Correspondent: Undisclosed (someone I’ve never met in person, but had business negotiations with once) Text (8:06 AM): “If you have some shots of your breasts, that would be helpful–size doesn’t matter. also would love to see your back. Carpe Diem !” (10:00 AM): “sorry, Malinda, I noticed this email had been sent recently by accident. [...]
Email: (no subject)
Posted in Daily Tidbits, E-mail Excerpts, Sporchids, tagged Defecation on August 18, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Correspondent: undisclosed Text (8:08 PM): On my to-do list right now: find bra, find cocaine, trim pubes. in that order (8:10 PM) o apparently add “take shit”
E-mail Excerpt From Father
Posted in Daily Tidbits, E-mail Excerpts, Sporchids, tagged Family on May 9, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Recently received e-mail from father. The bulk of the text follows below: “I’m sitting in the airport and there’s a slightly creepy Asian lady practicing Tai Chi in the row in front of me. I’m not sure if I feel protected or frightened.. I’m still with DALI [company of employment] until the end of the [...]
Title of E-mail: “and now it’s time to find some Mexicans”
Posted in E-mail Excerpts, Sporchids, tagged Politically Incorrect on April 14, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Author: undisclosed Text Excerpt: “I went hunting for Mexicans today. This time it was easier. I simply went to our local neighborhood Chipotle, and asked if they knew anyone who cleans houses or could help us move. I have 1 lead on the housecleaner, and 2 on the movers. (one of the workers at Chipotle [...]
E-mail Title: Thinking of you…/”Poo in a Suit”
Posted in E-mail Excerpts, Sporchids, tagged Defecation on April 13, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Author: Undisclosed Text Excerpt: “This afternoon, whilst pooping, I eliminated this greenish mushy turd that was surrounded in a thin, monotone-brown, slightly more hard-looking shell. And upon absentmindedly glancing at the turd (because, let’s face it, I do tend to look afterwards; one always wonders: “now, was that as big as it felt, or am [...]
Email Title: additional notes
Posted in E-mail Excerpts, Sporchids, tagged Defecation, Enlightenment on April 13, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Author: Undisclosed Text Excerpt [on enlightenment]: “woopsie, you got the dog poop goodie bag. except everyone who actualy gets the goodie bag gets the dog poop. who ever ran the party must be a sick man. Probubly me when I’m eighty.”
Email Title: (no subject)
Posted in E-mail Excerpts, Sporchids, tagged Love on April 13, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Author: Undisclosed (Female) Text Excerpt: “getting bride. she lives in colorado presently, but is genuinely hot-beautiful and plays excellent piano and has great tits. her family is from south dakota. perhaps they would like some kind of small wind turbine? i feel like i could steal that.”
Loving My Dada
Posted in E-mail Excerpts, Sporchids, tagged Family on January 31, 2009 | 1 Comment »
E-mail just in: Hey Mindi: Leenie mentioned you’d be free to spend time together tomorrow. I’d enjoy this! Any ideas of what activities would be fun for you? a) go-carts b) bowling c) coffee shop d) movie e) sky-diving f) hunting buffalo g) cow-tipping It was easier to plan an itinerary when you were little (take [...]
